All of the Things That Are Movies

Hey folks! Sorry for the absence of blogs lately. After my last blog post in November, I took a trip to Portland. And then I got sick. And then Thanksgiving came around. And I was sick through Thanksgiving. And then not too long after that, I had Christmas down in Africa. And while I was watching movies the whole time, I started to do that thing where I thought about how to write the blog posts… without actually writing them. Which is a bad habit. So, sorry. My bad. I hope to put up some more substantial blogs soon, but in the meantime, this is a simple one to start the new year with. I hope you enjoy it!

The following is something I’ve done since 2011: a list of all the new movies I’ve seen in a given year. That is, all the movies I hadn’t seen before, new or old. In this instance the year is – was – 2013. This list covers movies that I saw from beginning to end, with only a slight margin for some missing minutes (late to the movie, had to use the bathroom, etc.) If I started watching a movie but stopped, it doesn’t count. If I caught the second half of a film but not the first, it doesn’t count. This includes movies I saw in a theater, on video, via streaming, on a plane, on television, whatever. In order for a film to qualify for the list, it has to be feature length, meaning it is at least 60 min (1 hour) long.

To clarify some of my idiosyncrasies to people:  I list the films by their name, year made (if applicable), their MPAA rating, and their running time (first by total minutes, then by hours and minutes, because I am weird.) In instances where a film shares its name with (an)other film(s), whether it’s a remake, another adaptation of the same material, or simply a coincidence, I place the year in which the film I saw was released (Stateside) into these brackets: [XXXX] In instances where a film has no MPAA rating, I affix it with ‘(NR)’ which means ‘Not Rated.’ In the case of running time, I put down whatever version of the film I saw first, be that the theatrical cut, director’s cut, extended, unrated, and so on. Any other cuts I saw afterwards are not listed.

Finally, on some of the films, next to the MPAA rating I have put a ‘B’ or a ‘W’, B for ‘Best’ and W for ‘Worst.’  This is a pretty broad shorthand, though, and I feel I ought to explain it a little better. ‘Best’ covers films that I felt were the best made, or the most moving, or that did something that really surprised me, or that I liked the more I thought about them, or that I was pleasantly surprised by, or that I simply had a really good time with. On the other hand, ‘Worst’ would imply films that I really, really hated from beginning to end, and in a few instances it does. But more often than not, ‘Worst’ covers films that I started dislike more and more after the fact, even if they had some good elements (which they usually do.)

Also, if it seems like some newer films are missing from the end of the list, that’s due to my time out of the country. I will catch up on many of these new films when I return to the States in a few days’ time.

My list this year is 185 films, which is up 50 from last year (135). How many films would you think you saw this year? What were your favorites? Your least favorites? Which of my ‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ choices do you agree with, and which ones to you think make me a blithering idiot? Have at it!

1.       Withnail & I (R)B 107 min (1 hour and 47 minutes)

2.       The ‘burbs (PG) 101 min (1 hour and 41 minutes)

3.       Promised Land [2013] (R)B 106 min (1 hour and 46 minutes)

4.       The Howling (R) 90 min (1 hour and 30 minutes)

5.       Zero Dark Thirty (R)B 157 min (2 hours and 37 minutes)

6.       Gangster Squad (R)W 113 min (1 hour and 53 minutes)

7.       Indie Game: The Movie (NR) 94 min (1 hour and 34 minutes)

8.       Killer Joe (NC-17) 102 min (1 hour and 42 minutes)

9.       The Last Stand [2013] (R) 106 min (1 hour and 46 minutes)

10.   Broken City (R) 109 min (1 hour and 49 minutes)

11.   Glengarry Glen Ross (R) 100 min (1 hour and 40 minutes)

12.   Notes on a Scandal (R) 91 min (1 hour and 31 minutes)

13.   Hitchcock (PG-13)B 98 min (1 hour and 38 minutes)

14.   The Hunted [2003] (R) 94 min (1 hour and 34 minutes)

15.   Rampage [1992] (R) 97 min (1 hour and 37 minutes)

16.   The Fountain (PG-13)B 96 min (1 hour and 36 minutes)

17.   Blue Chips (PG-13)B 108 min (1 hour and 48 minutes)

18.   Explorers (PG) 109 min (1 hour and 48 minutes)

19.   Flirting with Disaster (R) 93 min (1 hour and 33 minutes)

20.   To Live and Die in L.A. (R) 116 min (1 hour and 56 minutes)

21.   Stand Up Guys (R) 95 min (1 hour and 35 minutes)

22.   Bullet to the Head (R) 91 min (1 hour and 31 minutes)

23.   Requiem for a Dream (R) 102 min (1 hour and 42 minutes)

24.   Anna Karenina [2012] (R) 129 min (2 hours and 9 minutes)

25.   The Sessions (R)B 95 min (1 hour and 35 minutes)

26.   Warm Bodies (PG-13) 97 min (1 hour and 37 minutes)

27.   Se7en (R) 127 min (2 hours and 7 minutes)

28.   Fritz the Cat (NR)B 78 min (1 hour and 18 minutes)

29.   The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat (R) 77 min (1 hour and 17 minutes)

30.   American Pimp (R)B 90 min (1 hour and 30 minutes)

31.   Fire and Ice (PG) 81 min (1 hour and 21 minutes)

32.   Very Bad Things (R) 100 min (1 hour and 40 minutes)

33.   New York, I Love You (R) 103 min (1 hour and 43 minutes)

34.   Side Effects (R) 106 min (1 hour and 46 minutes)

35.   Cruising (R)B 102 min (1 hour and 42 minutes)

36.   The French Connection (R) 104 min (1 hour and 44 minutes)

37.   Four Rooms (R)B 98 min (1 hour and 38 minutes)

38.   From Dusk Till Dawn (R) 108 min (1 hour and 48 minutes)

39.   A Good Day to Die Hard (R) 97 min (1 hour and 37 minutes)

40.   The Evil Dead (NC-17) 85 min (1 hour and 25 minutes)

41.   Jack Goes Boating (R)B 91 min (1 hour and 31 minutes)

42.   …But I’m a Cheerleader! (R) 85 min (1 hour and 31 minutes)

43.   Deadhead Miles (R) 85 min (1 hour and 25 minutes)

44.   360 (R)B 110 min (1 hour and 50 minutes)

45.   V/H/S (R)W 116 min (1 hour and 56 minutes)

46.   The Gift [2000] (R)B 112 min (1 hour and 52 minutes)

47.   Side by Side [2012] (NR)B 99 min (1 hour and 39 minutes)

48.   5 Centimeters Per Second (NR) 62 min (1 hour and 2 minutes)

49.   Great Directors (NR)W 90 min (1 hour and 30 minutes)

50.   Tales from the Script (NR) 105 min (1 hour and 45 minutes)

51.   These Amazing Shadows (NR)B 88 min (1 hour and 28 minutes)

52.   Hoop Dreams (PG-13) 170 min (2 hours and 50 minutes)

53.   The Imposter [2012] (R) 99 min (1 hour and 39 minutes)

54.   Special [2008] (R) 81 min (1 hour and 21 minutes)

55.   Bottle Rocket [1996] (R)B 91 min (1 hour and 31 minutes)

56.   Deliver Us from Evil [2006] (NR) 101 min (1 hour and 41 minutes)

57.   Blindness [2008] (R) 121 min (2 hours and 1 minute)

58.   Four Lions (R) 97 min (1 hour and 37 minutes)

59.   The Human Centipede: First Sequence (R) 92 min (1 hour and 32 minutes)

60.   The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence (NR) 88 min (1 hour and 28 minutes)

61.   Oz: The Great and Powerful (PG) 130 min (2 hours and 10 minutes)

62.   The Boys in the Band (R) 119 min (1 hour and 59 minutes)

63.   Making the Boys (NR)B 90 min (1 hour and 30 minutes)

64.   American: The Bill Hicks Story (NR) 102 min (1 hour and 42 minutes)

65.   Permanent Midnight (R) 88 min (1 hour and 28 minutes)

66.   The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (PG-13) 100 min (1 hour and 40 minutes)

67.   Batman: The Dark Knight Returns – Part 1 (PG-13) 76 min (1 hour and 16 minutes)

68.   Shotgun Stories (PG-13)B 92 min (1 hour and 32 minutes)

69.   The Hole [2012] (PG-13) 92 min (1 hour and 32 minutes)

70.   Following (R) 69 min (1 hour and 9 minutes)

71.   Memento (R)B 113 min (1 hour and 53 minutes)

72.   Batman: The Dark Knight Returns – Part 2 (PG-13) 76 min (1 hour and 16 minutes)

73.   The Croods (PG)B 98 min (1 hour and 38 minutes)

74.   Spring Breakers (R) 94 min (1 hour and 34 minutes)

75.   Sling Blade (R)B 135 min (2 hours and 15 minutes)

76.   Matinee (PG)B 99 min (1 hour and 39 minutes)

77.   Trance [2013] (R) 101 min (1 hour and 41 minutes)

78.   G.I. Joe: Retaliation (PG-13) 110 min (1 hour and 50 minutes)

79.   The Philadelphia Story (NR) 112 min (1 hour and 52 minutes)

80.   The Hunger Games (PG-13) 142 min (2 hours and 22 minutes)

81.   Pain & Gain (R)B 130 min (2 hours and 10 minutes)

82.   Mud (PG-13)B 130 min (2 hours and 10 minutes)

83.   Seabiscuit (PG-13) 140 min (2 hours and 20 minutes)

84.   Iron Man 3 (PG-13) 130 min (2 hours and 10 minutes)

85.   The Great Gatsby [2013] (PG-13)W 143 min (2 hours and 23 minutes)

86.   Me and You and Everyone We Know (R) 91 min (1 hour and 31 minutes)

87.   The Comedy (NR)B 90 min (1 hour and 30 minutes)

88.   Man on the Moon (R)B 118 min (1 hour and 58 minutes)

89.   Star Trek Into Darkness (PG-13)W 132 min (2 hours and 12 minutes)

90.   From Up on Poppy Hill (PG) 91 min (1 hour and 31 minutes)

91.   Wide Awake (PG) 88 min (1 hour and 28 minutes)

92.   Jade (R)B 95 min (1 hour and 35 minutes)

93.   Epic (PG) 102 min (1 hour and 42 minutes)

94.   Fast & Furious 6 (PG-13) 128 min (2 hours and 8 minutes)

95.   The Hangover Part III (R) 100 min (1 hour and 40 minutes)

96.   Hollywoodland (R)B 126 min (2 hours and 6 minutes)

97.   After Earth (PG-13) 100 min (1 hour and 40 minutes)

98.   A Late Quartet (R) 105 min (1 hour and 45 minutes)

99.   The Rabbi’s Cat (NR)B 89 min (1 hour and 29 minutes)

100.                        This Is the End (R) 107 min (1 hour and 47 minutes)

101.                        Man of Steel (PG-13) 143 min (2 hours and 23 minutes)

102.                        The Life and Death of Peter Sellers (NR) 120 min (2 hours)

103.                        That Guy …Who Was in That Thing (NR)W 88 min (1 hour and 28 minutes)

104.                        Black Dynamite (R) 84 min (1 hour and 24 minutes)

105.                        Monsters University (G) 110 min (1 hour and 50 minutes)

106.                        Rules of Engagement (R) 128 min (2 hours and 8 minutes)

107.                        World War Z (PG-13)W 116 min (1 hour and 56 minutes)

108.                        The Heat (R)B 117 min (1 hour and 57 minutes)

109.                        Full-Tilt Boogie (R) 97 min (1 hour and 37 minutes)

110.                        Comic Book: The Movie (PG-13) 106 min (1 hour and 46 minutes)

111.                        The Lone Ranger [2013] (PG-13)B 149 min (2 hours and 29 minutes)

112.                        Kevin Hart: Laugh at My Pain (R) 89 min (1 hour and 29 minutes)

113.                        To the Wonder (R) 112 min (1 hour and 52 minutes)

114.                        Lost in La Mancha (R) 89 min (1 hour and 29 minutes)

115.                        Despicable Me 2 (PG) 98 min (1 hour and 38 minutes)

116.                        Pacific Rim (PG-13)W 131 min (2 hours and 11 minutes)

117.                        Turbo (PG) 96 min (1 hour and 36 minutes)

118.                        R.I.P.D. (PG-13) 96 min (1 hour and 36 minutes)

119.                        RED 2 (PG-13) 116 min (1 hour and 56 minutes)

120.                        The Wolverine (PG-13) 129  min (2 hours and 9 minutes)

121.                        Only God Forgives (R) 90 min (1 hour and 30 minutes)

122.                        2 Guns (R) 109 min (1 hour and 49 minutes)

123.                        The Passion of the Christ (R) 127 min (2 hours and 7 minutes)

124.                        Elysium (R) 109 min (1 hour and 49 minutes)

125.                        Planes (PG) 92 min (1 hour and 32 minutes)

126.                        Heckler (R)W 80 min (1 hour and 20 minutes)

127.                        The People vs. George Lucas (NR) 93 min (1 hour and 33 minutes)

128.                        Much Ado About Nothing [2013] (PG-13) 109 min (1 hour and 49 minutes)

129.                        PoliWood (NR) 90 min (1 hour and 30 minutes)

130.                        Kick-Ass 2 (R)W 103 min (1 hour and 43 minutes)

131.                        Jobs (PG-13) 128 min (2 hours and 8 minutes)

132.                        The Butler (PG-13) 132 min (2 hours and 12 minutes)

133.                        The Paperboy [2012] (R) 107 min (1 hour and 47 minutes)

134.                        Downfall (R)B 156 min (2 hours and 36 minutes)

135.                        Safe [2012] (R) 94 min (1 hour and 34 minutes)

136.                        The World’s End (R) 109 min (1 hour and 49 minutes)

137.                        Blue Jasmine (PG-13) 98 min (1 hour and 39 minutes)

138.                        The One [2001] (PG-13)W 87 min (1 hour and 27 minutes)

139.                        Mickey • Donald • Goofy: The Three Musketeers (G)B 68 min (1 hour and 8 minutes)

140.                        The Grandmaster (PG-13) 108 min (1 hour and 48 minutes)

141.                        Detachment (NR)B 97 min (1 hour and 37 minutes)

142.                        Dredd (R) 95 min (1 hour and 35 minutes)

143.                        Senna (PG-13) 106 min (1 hour and 46 minutes)

144.                        Riddick (R) 119 min (1 hour and 59 minutes)

145.                        The Bling Ring (R) 90 min (1 hour and 30 minutes)

146.                        The Family [2013] (R) 110 min (1 hour and 50 minutes)

147.                        Super [2011] (R) 96 min (1 hour and 36 minutes)

148.                        The Road [2009] (R) 111 min (1 hour and 51 minutes)

149.                        The Night They Raided Minsky’s (PG-13)B 99 min (1 hour and 31 minutes)

150.                        In a World… (R)B 93 min (1 hour and 33 minutes)

151.                        Rush [2013] (R) 123 min (2 hours and 3 minutes)

152.                        Don Jon (R) 90 min (1 hour and 30 minutes)

153.                        Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (PG)B 95 min (1 hour and 35 minutes)

154.                        Gravity (PG-13) 90 min (1 hour and 30 minutes)

155.                        Enough Said (PG-13)B 93 min (1 hour and 33 minutes)

156.                        Captain Phillips (PG-13)B 134 min (2 hours and 14 minutes)

157.                        Evil Dead II (R) 84 min (1 hour and 24 minutes)

158.                        Y tu mamá también (R) 106 min (1 hour and 46 minutes)

159.                        The Act of Killing (NR)B 115 min (1 hour and 55 minutes)

160.                        Sólo con tu pareja (NR)B 94 min (1 hour and 34 minutes)

161.                        Escape Plan (R) 115 min (1 hour and 55 minutes)

162.                        A Little Princess (G) 97 min (1 hour and 37 minutes)

163.                        Bad Grandpa (R) 92 min (1 hour and 32 minutes)

164.                        The Counselor (R) 117 min (1 hour and 57 minutes)

165.                        The Hunt [2013] (R) 115 min (1 hour and 55 minutes)

166.                        Byzantium (R)B 118 min (1 hour and 58 minutes)

167.                        Ender’s Game (PG-13) 114 min (1 hour and 54 minutes)

168.                        Sorcerer (R)B 121 min (2 hours and 1 minute)

169.                        A Band Called Death (NR) 96 min (1 hour and 36 minutes)

170.                        Room 237 (NR) 102 min (1 hour and 42 minutes)

171.                        Troll 2 (PG-13) 95 min (1 hour and 35 minutes)

172.                        Best Worst Movie (NR) 93 min (1 hour and 33 minutes)

173.                        Thor: The Dark World (PG-13)B 112 min (1 hour and 52 minutes)

174.                        All Is Lost (PG-13)B 106 min (1 hour and 46 minutes)

175.                        12 Years a Slave (R)B 134 min (2 hours and 14 minutes)

176.                        About Time (R)B 123 min (2 hours and 3 minutes)

177.                        After Porn Ends (NR) 94 min (1 hour and 34 minutes)

178.                        The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (PG-13)B 146 min (2 hours and 26 minutes)

179.                        Frozen [2013] (PG) 108 min (1 hour and 48 minutes)

180.                        Oldboy [2013] (R) 104 min (1 hour and 44 minutes)

181.                        How to Survive a Plague (NR) 110 min (1 hour and 50 minutes)

182.                        Miller’s Crossing (R)B 115 min (1 hour and 55 minutes)

183.                        The Untouchables (R) 119 min (1 hour and 59 minutes)

184.                        Before Sunrise (R)B 105 min (1 hour and 45 minutes)

185.                        The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (PG-13) 161 min (2 hours and 41 minutes)

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3 comments on “All of the Things That Are Movies

  1. Cj says:

    Wow you suffered through some baaad movies this year. Kudos for watching Bad Grandpa all the way through. I’m curious what you thought of the great gatsby though!

    • gemcgee2013 says:

      Hey CJ! Thanks for reading the blog! Also, I saw Bad Grandpa because I wanted to. And it was pretty funny. I wrote a fairly flattering (and extensive) review over here: https://grantplaysoneasy.wordpress.com/2013/10/29/bad-grandpa-is-bad-in-the-best-way-mostly/

      As for Luhrmann’s adaptation of The Great Gatsby: I can’t really say I dug it. I didn’t particularly like the over-the-top, CGI-enhanced, words-floating-across-the-screen style that they went with, and I thought there was a way to portray the opulence and excess of Gatsby’s world without being quite so…I dunno…’MTV’ about it. I know that some people would argue that that’s the point, and I guess that I understand that and I just don’t care.

      That said, DiCaprio was excellent (as per usual), and I actually LOVED the confrontational scene in the hotel room. That was the kind of style and approach that I thought the whole film could’ve used more of, frankly.

      Oh, and I rather liked some of the songs.
      This one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roCY6-EfZfM
      Aaand this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoj2I6ZJLx8

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